Top Ten Ways to Die Read online

  We got him! He’s trapped!

  But T-Mix wasn’t going to give up that easily.

  Heading straight for Vee’s front door, he suddenly slammed on the brakes and spun the car around. Then, hitting the gas, he took off across the lawn.

  Clods of grass flew into the air. Joe and I swerved around them and screeched to a halt.

  I glanced at my brother. “What do you think of this guy, Joe?”

  “I think he should be put behind bars. And that’s just for his driving.”

  We laughed and revved up our engines. Then we took off across the lawn after the Cadillac.

  T-Mix drove like a maniac. Somehow he managed to mow down every plant, bush, and flower in Vee’s Japanese garden.

  Joe and I followed right behind him—but it wasn’t easy. Every hill and stone was like a little ramp that sent our bikes soaring into the air and bouncing off the grass.

  T-Mix steered the car around the side of the house and plowed his way toward the backyard. He was heading straight for a giant row of trimmed hedges.

  He’s going to crash, I thought.

  But I was wrong. T-Mix turned the steering wheel at the last second. The car veered around the hedges and disappeared.

  That’s when I heard the splash.

  A few seconds later, I heard T-Mix’s voice.

  “Help! Help!”

  Joe and I guided our motorcycles around the hedge and pulled them to a quick stop.

  “Help!”

  T-Mix had driven the Jackson Puck’s Cadillac right into Vee’s swimming pool—and it was sinking fast.

  “Help! I can’t swim!”

  I looked at Joe. “Well? Should we help him?”

  Joe shrugged. “Sure, why not? I bet he’ll write some really interesting songs in prison.”

  It didn’t take long for the police to arrive—and the reporters, too. The whole place was swarming with people.

  T-Mix kicked and squirmed as we held him down on the ground next to the pool. Joe and I were still soaking wet after saving him from the sinking car.

  “Why did you do it?” Joe asked him. “Why did you want to hurt Vee? She’s one of your biggest stars.”

  “Maybe she is,” T-Mix sneered. “But I’m the biggest talent. She’s just a pretty face. That’s why she’s famous. But I write the songs! I mix the tracks! I should be the famous one!”

  A pair of police officers came running toward us, and a mob of photographers started snapping pictures.

  “Well, here’s your chance to be famous,” said Joe.

  “Infamous is more like it,” I added.

  T-Mix stared up at us with a wild look in his eyes. Then he started howling with laughter. Joe and I were relieved when the officers finally handcuffed him.

  A crowd of people gathered around as the police escorted T-Mix to their squad car. Dozens of reporters started asking questions and taking pictures.

  “Look at me!” T-Mix shouted at them. “I’m a star! I’m a star!”

  The police pushed his head down and forced him into the back of the car. Then the door was slammed shut, and T-Mix was taken away.

  Joe looked at me and shook his head. “That is one messed-up dude,” he said.

  “You think?”

  “I know. But now I’m worried about Vee. We left her hanging over the Hollywood sign.”

  “Maybe this is her,” I said, pointing toward the driveway.

  A long black limousine drove past the reporters and stopped right in front of us. The door flew open, and out stepped Vee Sharp.

  She was still wearing her superhero costume.

  “Superwoman! You’re okay!” Joe shouted.

  Vee laughed, ran over, and gave us both a big hug.

  “You guys are the real superheroes,” she said. “How can I thank you?”

  “Give them a kiss!” shouted a reporter.

  Vee laughed again—and puckered her lips for the cameras. Flashbulbs flickered all around us as Vee kissed our cheeks.

  Then I noticed other people climbing out of the limousine: Kay Sharp, Spider Jones, Jackson Puck, and Jillian Goode. They rushed over to greet us. Everyone was hugging and cheering—except for Jackson Puck, who wasn’t too thrilled to hear about his Cadillac sitting at the bottom of Vee’s pool.

  After talking to the police and answering some questions from the press, Vee invited us all inside to celebrate the completion of the music video.

  “We’ve all worked hard enough today,” she announced. “It’s party time!”

  As we followed her into the mansion, my brother grabbed me by the arm and whispered in my ear, “Now this is what I call a Hollywood ending.”

  17.

  Another Hollywood Ending

  I miss her already.

  That’s what I started thinking as soon as we got back home to Bayport—and two weeks later, the feeling hadn’t passed. Dad was sitting in his armchair doing a crossword puzzle, Mom was reading a book about ancient Egypt, Frank was finishing his homework, and Aunt Trudy was yelling at me to take my feet off the coffee table.

  Where are you when I need you, Vee?

  I held the TV remote in my hand and changed the channel to the VTV network.

  “Here it is!” I said, sitting up. “Our music video is about to premiere!” They’d rushed it into production after T-Mix was caught.

  I’d been waiting anxiously to see it. Dad put down his crossword puzzle, Mom closed her book, and Frank pushed his homework aside. Even Aunt Trudy grabbed a spot on the sofa next to me.

  “I’m curious to see what all the fuss is about,” she said, adjusting her glasses.

  Actually, the whole family was curious. Every news program in the country had shown pictures of Frank and me getting kissed by Vee in her superhero outfit. Every day the press had more juicy details about the “Pop Star Stalker” and his “Top Ten Ways to Die.”

  Frank and I were a little nervous about all the publicity. A few reporters had even called here at the house to interview us. Thankfully, Aunt Trudy told them they had the wrong Hardys.

  “It still scares me to think about that weirdo,” said Mom. “What are the chances that you boys would be working side by side with a killer?”

  The chances are good—when you’re undercover agents, I thought to myself.

  Of course I didn’t tell her that. I just cranked up the volume on the TV so we could hear the veejay introduce Vee’s new video.

  A guy with spiky blond hair appeared on the screen. “Tonight’s a very special night for fans of America’s biggest teen pop sensation, Vee Sharp. I’m sure you’ve heard about what happened to the young star two weeks ago. After receiving a number of anonymous death threats, Vee was nearly killed in a series of mysterious ‘accidents’ on the set of her new music video. Vee managed to survive, and the culprit was apprehended—thanks to a pair of brave teenage interns.”

  A picture of Frank and me flashed across the screen. I nudged Frank. “You should have smiled, dude.”

  “Look who’s talking,” he said. “You have red-eye.”

  Aunt Trudy shushed us. “The video’s about to start,” she said.

  I looked at her. “Since when are you a Vee Sharp fan, Aunt Trudy?”

  She smiled primly. “Actually, I like her new song. I heard it on the radio today.”

  “Well, maybe I can introduce you to her. I have connections, you know.”

  She slapped my arm. “Shhh.”

  We turned our attention back to the blond-haired announcer on TV. “The legendary record producer, T-Mix, has confessed to the crimes and is being held without bail. For Vee Sharp, the nightmare is over. And what better way to celebrate than to introduce the brand-new video of her number one hit single, ‘Girls Rule.’”

  The picture changed to a video message from Vee Sharp. She looked straight at the camera and said, “Hi, everyone. It’s me, Vee. I just want to thank you all for the love and support I’ve received during these tough times. But most of all, I want to thank Joe and
Frank. This one’s for you.”

  The screen went black. The video started.

  A heavy beat pounded and throbbed from the TV speakers. Beautiful images flashed before our eyes. It was like reliving our whole experience in Hollywood. I couldn’t help but smile. There she was—Vee—as a black widow spider, a mermaid, an astronaut, a lion tamer, and a superhero.

  Hey, if anyone could prove that “Girls Rule,” she could.

  Suddenly I heard the flapping of wings overheard. Playback, our parrot, swooped into the living room and landed right on top of the TV set.

  “Check it out!” said Frank. “I knew that bird was a big Vee Sharp fan!”

  Playback squawked, “Joe loves Vee Sha-arp! Joe loves Vee Sha-arp!”

  I groaned and covered my eyes. “Why did you teach him that, Frank?”

  “Because it’s true.”

  I ignored him and watched the rest of the video. Vee looked totally cool swimming in the giant goldfish bowl and cracking the whip at the lions. I practically forgot that she had almost been killed in every scene.

  All of a sudden, my face appeared on the screen.

  “Look! It’s Joe!” Aunt Trudy squealed with delight.

  Everybody laughed and cheered. Frank punched me playfully in the arm as I slumped down deeper into the sofa. Seeing myself in those powder blue pajamas was a little embarrassing.

  “Awww. You look so cute, Joe,” said Mom. “Just like a little boy.”

  Okay, it was very embarrassing.

  But what the heck, I figured. I was in a Vee Sharp video!

  Finally the video ended. The whole family clapped their hands. Mom gave Frank a hug, and Aunt Trudy kissed my cheek. Then Dad looked at us and said, “Good job, boys.”

  I could tell by the look in his eye that he was congratulating us on our latest assignment.

  He was the only one who knew how much danger we’d been in.

  Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

  “I hope that isn’t a bunch of reporters,” said Dad.

  “Oh, it’s probably a group of screaming girls,” said Aunt Trudy. “I’m sure your fans are dying for your autographs. Why don’t you answer the door, Joe?”

  There was a strange twinkle in her eye, but I ignored it and walked to the front door. Reaching for the knob, I opened the door slowly and peeked out.

  No way.

  I couldn’t believe my eyes.

  It was Vee Sharp! Here! In Bayport!

  “Hello, Joe,” she said, smiling that world-famous smile.

  “Vee! What . . . where . . . how?” I stammered.

  Vee shrugged her shoulders. “I just happened to be in the neighborhood.”

  “You’re kidding.”

  “Of course I’m kidding. Bayport isn’t exactly the crossroads of the world. And that’s exactly why I’m here.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Vee sighed and pushed a strand of hair off her face. “If you invite me inside, Joe, maybe I’ll tell you.”

  “Oops. Sorry. Come in!”

  I was so shocked to see her that I could barely think straight. Stepping back to let her inside, I ushered her into the living room to introduce her to my family.

  “Mom, Dad, Aunt Trudy, I’d like you to meet . . .”

  “Vee Sharp,” said Aunt Trudy. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. I’m a big fan. Come sit next to me!”

  I glanced at Frank and stifled a laugh.

  Vee took a seat on the sofa and explained why she was here. “The press is having a field day with the whole ‘Pop Star Stalker’ story. There are reporters and cameras everywhere I go. They just won’t leave me alone. It’s crazy. After that whole experience, I just want to get away from it all.”

  I still didn’t understand how she’d found her way here to Bayport.

  “Everybody wanted to interview me for the video premiere tonight,” Vee continued. “My hairstylist, Betty, told me I should take a break and spend some time where no one could find me. She said she had a good friend on the East Coast who might let me visit for a few days.”

  She looked at Aunt Trudy and smiled.

  Suddenly it hit me.

  Betty?

  “Wait a minute,” I said, turning to Aunt Trudy. “Your friend Betty in L.A. is Vee’s hairstylist?”

  Aunt Trudy leaned back and smirked. “I have connections, you know,” she said.

  I couldn’t believe it. Aunt Trudy had invited Vee to stay with us until the whole ‘Pop Star Stalker’ thing cooled down.

  “Did Mom and Dad know about this?” I asked.

  They all nodded.

  I shook my head and laughed. “This is great! So how long are you staying?”

  “Four or five days.”

  “Where are your bags?”

  “On the front porch.”

  “How cool is this?”

  “Very cool.”

  Vee smiled again. I was so excited I just wanted to hug her.

  But first Frank and I had to go outside to get her luggage. As soon as we were alone, I grabbed him by the arm and said, “This is too good to be true, Frank. I was afraid I’d never see her again, but this is my chance to really get to know her. So please, don’t ruin it for me.”

  My brother looked surprised. “What are you talking about?”

  “You know. Don’t pull any pranks while she’s here. Don’t make me look stupid. Don’t make fun of me in front of her.”

  “Whatever you say . . .”

  “Frank.”

  “Don’t worry, man. I won’t say anything to embarrass you. I promise.”

  We picked up Vee’s luggage and went back inside the house. Aunt Trudy had moved Vee into the dining room, where she was ladling out a big helping of her homemade chicken soup. Frank took the bags upstairs while I sat down with Vee.

  “Your family is great,” she said. “And so is this soup.”

  We started talking about all sorts of things—music, sports, movies, motorcycles. I couldn’t believe what an awesome girl she was. I also couldn’t believe Frank had agreed not to tease me while she was here.

  But then my brother walked through the dining room with Playback on his shoulder.

  The parrot squawked, “Joe loves Vee Sha-arp! Joe loves Vee Sha-arp!”

  I should have seen it coming.